My room smells like vodka and shame
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
