After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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