2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
