To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize