I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
