too bad you live with your parents still
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
