it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
