yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize