Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
