i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
