5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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