my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
