Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
