dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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