it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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