I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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