pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
