What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
