I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
