Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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