Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
