Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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