we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
