so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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