Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize