I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
