just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize