Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize