I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
