did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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