everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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