5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize