it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
