escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
