Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
