On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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