Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
