He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
