she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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