just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
