Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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