Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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