that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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