why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
