Who did Billy Mays play for?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
And then my night got REAL pukey
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize