haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
