you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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