Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
