you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
