their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
