On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
