Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
