Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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