I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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