Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
