my shit smells like andre
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
