I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
