You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
