Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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